Many would agree: patience is one of the hardest muscles to flex. Some of us—myself included—may not even feel we have this muscle at all, or if we do, it’s undeveloped and unimpressive.
Have you ever watched a friend, loved one, or co-worker show remarkable patience with someone you see as difficult, leaving you wondering, “How does he do it?”
Learning Your Craft (Whatever It Is) Takes Patience
Learning to play the guitar, the piano, or any other instrument takes quite a bit of patience, especially in the beginning because you want to play like the greats by tomorrow, and it’s just not going to happen. Not for most people anyway.
If you’re like me (and, I hope to goodness your’re not on most accounts…), you started learning the guitar when you were quite a bit younger and have reached a certain level of skill, and now your stamina for that continued growth has kind of dwindled. It can be revived, but it’s not as easy as in the earlier years. When we’re older we prioritize more where we lend and felx our patience muscles, and sometimes learning new things doesn’t make it to the list…
One measure that coulkd be taken to help with the whole patience bit, is to set very small goals. I’m still continuing to learn, just at much slower rate (at least at the moment). When I do learn something that really sinks in, and I really get it, it feels good, which makes having more patience in the future a little bit easier. Its hitting those milestones that makes passing future patience exercises possible.
Everyone Has The Capacity for Patience
Whether or not we admit it, every human can choose to exercise patience. It’s harder for some, but still possible.
Not that you necessarily need to analyze every moment to see if more patience is required, but rather try to develop a mindset of pausing before the first response to an action is delivered. i.e., We’re used to responding to certain situations in a particular way to the point that it’s almost automatic.
For example, if I see a certain co-worker approaching, I may prepare for confrontation before it happens. This mindset limits patience when disagreements arise.
This doesn’t have to mean a bad confrontation—maybe just, “Here comes John… What will he complain about now?” If John and I often disagree, I might get defensive quickly, unless I pause and wait to see what actually happens—perhaps nothing at all.
If the same ole “John, The Complainer,” speaks up, I could try listening to his entire view on “whatever,” hearing him out completely instead of making a decision before he’s even begun talking. Impatience tends to crush dialogue before it really gets developed. Of course, this scenario could play out at work, at home, or at the grocery store… wherever. All societal locations are equally important for exercising patience.
Losing patience publicly can backfire—even if you believe you’re right, the consequences can be serious. This doesn’t mean letting others walk over you; rather, it means pausing and considering your response and its possible outcomes.
Capitalize on Opportunities to Exercise Patience
Again, opportunities to exercise patience show up all the time and in a variety of formats. These moments can shape your entire day.
- At Work – Going back to the co-worker situation. Learning how to, even if for only a brief moment, take the viewpoint of another, might widen your horizons, or at least, make you more aware of this other viewpoint.
- In Relationships – Sometimes a person just needs to vent. He / She isn’t looking for the answer or an argument, but rather just needs to get something out in the open. Afterward, all is well, and no one had to agree or disagree.
Many of us are hardest on ourselves. Being patient with ourselves and softening that inner critic can benefit overall health. Critique is still important, but pause and reflect on every possible scenario first.
The Older We Get, The More We Feel Time Is Running Out
Middle age can bring a sense of urgency to some people – in me, at least. But patience is a muscle, like any other muscle, that needs to be used in order for it to grow. The earlier in life you use this muscle, the better off you’ll be later on; however, it’s not too late to let it grow.
Patience doesn’t waste time; it prevents you from making decisions you’ll regret. Each time you use atience, your intellectual and emotional intelligence grow stronger.
Ways To Build Your Patience Superpower
- Intentional Pauses – Get in the habit of pausing for 3-5 seconds before responding to a conversation, text, or anything else.
- Breathing Practices – Develop the habit of taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself, even when you don’t feel you need to. This practice can be beneficial over time.
- Reframing Frustration – Instead of immediately over-reacting, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this frustrating moment I’m experiencing?”
- Expectation Management – Adjusting our expectations for a given situation reduces so much pressure. Try to determine if your original expectations were as realistic as you thought they were.
- Micro-Patience Practice – Waiting in line at McDonald’s (We really shouldn’t be eating there anyway), sitting at a long traffic light, being placed on hold on the phone, etc.
- Gratitude Acknowledgment – Try to name one thing that actually went right during a frustrating situation. Might be difficult, but there’s probably at least one thing.
- Try Not To Multitask – Doing too much at once often creates fertile ground for impatience to grow.
The Ultimate Long-Game Payoff: What Patience Provides
- Better Relationships – Less conflict, more understanding. Stronger Resilience – Much easier to bounce back from the frustration because you’re not reacting from panic.
- Clearer Thinking – Rushed decisions often aren’t the best. Responding thoughtfully is usually better than reacting impulsively.
- Confidence & Self-Respect – Patient decisions lead to better outcomes, and over time, this builds self-confidence.
- Increased Productivity – By keeping multitasking to a minimum, you are more capable of “staying on target.” By avoiding constant context-switching, you’re more likely to finish what you started (Having a Star Wars Episode IV moment here: “Stay on target… Stay on target…”)…
- You’re Building a Discipline Factory – Patience is the backbone of long-lasting good habits. It also creates greater consistency in one’s life. Both of which help to maintain a schedule that’s beneficial / meaningful to your life.
In Conclusion
If WE do care about exercising a little more patience in our daily lives, the least we can do is to at least recognize when we’re being impatient. Take note of it. Maybe even keep a journal of the times it occurs and write down what patient approach could’ve been exercised instead. You have to start somewhere…
Until Next Time,
Featured Image: My Brother’s Sears 559-1250 Acoustic Guitar (Purchased at the Salvation Army) Cleaning and Re-stringing. View on My Flikr Account.
